Long path

I finally made it to make myself jog on the second day. This year i had ended up joggin once a month rather than the original plan of day to day morning activity. I am extremely disappointted with myself but i think sometimes i'm just overcome with responsibility to do other things.

Talking about responsibility and discipline, ethics and etc, i've always been the person that maintained that to the highest standard. In my life i had people quitting their job simply because coudln't reach the standard that i've put which they do not realise that i have put higher standard in myself, personally and professional.

Let this story be told, i came across a person that was not different from me. He was trying to help a girl, pretty, cute and extremely lovable to get back on her feet. She could manage but an extra hand wouldn't hurt. He did what he had to do, day after day without thinking what's the end of the tunnel except for the girl's happiness. But it became too personal, when you come across something you just can't resist from, what for you lose out on it, you might not be able to come across it again. but he knew better that he wasn't good enough and the girl obviously deserves better but he didn't resist the feelings. he can't help it, the feelings gotten in too deep...now it's too late..he's alone again

something you hold

You enjoy it so much when you have the feeling of holding something so dear to you, it makes u feel so so god but eventually its not as mutual as you want it to be...you keep on having thoughts till you're finally brushed away. you hold on sumtin thinking the end is a delight but its just shattering. You heal yourself and move on thinking the best for the other parties and not yours...ponder myself..nuff said

a nice long week

Zooom, i didnt even realise how fast my week went. Its been a very interesting and hectic week. Lets put aside all negativeness and focus the wonders how beatiful things can just put a smile in your life. fills your emptiness with fulfilling dreams. It works wonders, you feel more alive, you feel more energise and thanks to that person. You may not spend enough time together but you know that deep inside you want more and when you're not around that person it lives in your minds, it captures moments you spend together in your eyes.

Small things have wonders unexplainable to humans, it's like having chocolate while watching your favourite drama, it makes your go forward faster and faster, think quickers makes more surprises, then again..we do owe a big thank you...THANK YOU!!

Another new resolution

This is morning was the first time i jogged in the past few months. looking back, it was the same time i quit smoking. I guess i thought by quitting smoking it would substitute the exercise i had to do to keep healthy. I went on my usually 6km route, usually i would do 5 km of running and another 1 km of walking (warming down) - this is obviously after almost fainting at my doorstep when i ran all the way home and stopped immediately, so warming down is important. By i didn't manage to run that far, it was only 4km of running and another 2 km of walking.

I guess i don't have the energy that use to have, the stamina, regardless of smoking or not. I had to jog it off, jog my mind and thoughts, that 1,000,000 things that's been lingering in my mind. i guess it worked in a way. most of my neighbours who saw me walking or jog gave me a thumbs up from their cars or home, i guess its a sign of support continuing my daily routine - this is the set back of living in a gated community, you know what people around you do and their routine.

I hope to have this synergy for the days to come. it's a therapy for me, although i sleep less in the past but i do exercise and now i sleep more, i exercise less. that is how we put ourselves - we live out the luxury in life that has been offered to us. We exercise less when we have a treadmill at home, we cook less when we have a beautiful table top, we drive the car less when we own a luxury car and the best of all of all these luxuries in my in-flight experience. Most of my trips to UK are on business class but there is one occasion i did take the EY class. I t was crowded, noisy and etc but one thing i realised, the Muslims travelling there would mainly pray when it comes to prayer time. although the toilets was smaller and very difficult to take ablution and having to wait until they praying area ( between EY and C class cabin) to be used unlike when u travel on business class or even more first class, all u have to do is ask the crew to prepare the praying area for you, get u a slipper and they will call you once everything is ready and obviously the other people in EY would have to wait. However people in C and F and they people least you would see praying...ponder...

SMS's

When is the ideal time for sending out sms? I think sms are just like email, it's meant for convenience and not urgency. It's something that you send out and you expect and immediate response. I now think i have a very bad habit of sending out sms's at odd hours. Having the experience of advising directly 5 companies at once, i have no time to postpone my thoughts and also instructions.

The habit sleeping 3am and waking up at 6am in the past gives me much less time to absorb and halt my thoughts especially those important ones. I need to send them quite then and then if not I'll never remember what to send out. although before the company gave me a pocket PC, still i don't know how to sync it to send out sms at certain time and obviously i', afraid that the sms itself won't get to its destination. haha. workaholics sux and bad habit dies hard...haha

My shoulder to cry on...

Sometimes I wonder how the human feelings work, how we can be so strong at heart at one time and become so vulnerable at another. How we be there for someone or anyone with all our might, help them and for the first in our lives to feel so alone. We can help to hear and solve a millions problems but after we help to solve it, people move on and we miss the presence of that person.

Probably because we reach really deep in that person, deeper than that person might have imagine, we needed that just to help to feel what that person feels. Its totally a professional feeling, no lust, love or any other hanky panky things involve but simply missing that person. You know that person needs you but you are not needed because your function and presence are until that point and one that particular point....ponder myself

Men and women

Looking at the how the world goes, i would like to share a thought and let it be a fact for everyone to ponder that never ever in a million years and women or men can take each other place. I'm not saying physically because doctors has proved me wrong but mentally we have to stick to ourselves. responsibility and role in life are totally different. I saw how girlfriends, wives and mothers act and as well as boyfriends, husbands and fathers do as well. Its almost impossible to take each others role.

A few months back, there was such news in the newspaper on how there's a new trend in town with the outcome of house husbands. How they let their wives out to work while they stay home and take care of the house and children. Putting ego aside, the men who were suppose to work and support their families have always been the way how family goes. We stick by it because man has to stick by their dignities, their pride.

We all know that both of these duties,working and staying home is no easy job. i cannot see how guys can stay home and take care of the house and the children as it's not an easy job. I praise the wives and women for this. Women do not have the patience of men but i admit they do have the will. To protect their house and children. The bottom line is to not discount the fact that each of these gender and responsibility should be complimented for doing what they have to do...